no matter the outcome, everything dies alone

 tonight im doing something different. im writing my blog from my phone.. gonna give it a shot so here goes...

 tonight i have been forced to contimplate myself. my outlook on life. my over all self in all forms. i am pretty happy with myself. my friends. my choices and my current life situation. i currently have been doing alot of soul searching to find myself and my center. i have found it1 i have also come to grips with what my most troubled part is. my lonliness.
 i am lonely only during a few hours of the day it seems.. coming home from work to a house with my dog and cats.. when i wake up and theres nobody there.. doesnt feel like theres someone i can call to just share great news with or vent to when i need it. doesnt feel like there is someone there who anticipates hearing from me. but maybe there is and i just am too blind to see it.
 everything dies alone.. honestly this is what i needed to hear becuase in the end its just you. your thoughts. your actions and your feelings. sometimes i feel as though when i go bed each night i die each time. i mean if you really tthink about it im pretty correct in that thought. you close your eyes and fall asleep.. thats one more day gone.. and all that your left with is your thoughts. emotions and your actions..and of course yourself. but you awaken to a new day . a new life.. a new chance. so maybe i am correct in saying that everynight i die alone. and awaken to do it again the next day.
 seems like i have tapped a nerve with this topic. it may be morbid or sound like im being emo. but i have excepted my fate and destiny.. i do not chose my path.. i am guided on this jourbney through life. no matter how long i have. may it be a long while or maybe just for today. i have accepted that i may never know the meaning of life and im ok with that. ive come to the conclusion that if i am honest with everyone. share whats on my mind. speak my feelings and speak from the heart .. that i can rest comfortably at night knowing i didnt let something i wish i wouldve said go unheard.
wow... you may think im really sounded depressed as hell right now but im not.. there are alot of things that i can write about and let flow from my mind to my fingers and onto the keypad tonight.. but this was just what i had on my mind as i started writing. but the title of this is what was really testing my brain to put down...d
should i be afraid to fall asleep each night in fear of death... no becuase i know theres always something better. wether its a new day or a new beginning... in the end it doesnt really matter does it.. becuase everything dies alone

so goodnight.. in the morning im off to get some oral surgery done and i have never been put under so maybe thats another reason why i write about such a topic tonight..but thanks for reading my blog. i never know if anyone likes it or even really reads it since i never hear any feedback about it so.. let me know what you think

thanks and goodnight